


Tornado

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 06:21:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4090276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The phrase could have had many definitions. Damian hoped the world thought it meant one. Bruce knew it meant another. </p><p>(Batman&Robin 39)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tornado

**Author's Note:**

> Have I mentioned how happy I am Damian’s back? Title/inspired by the lyrics of: ‘Tornado’ by Jonsi. Most dialogue taken from Batman&Robin #39.

~~

_I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see. I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free?_

~~

It was...

Something wasn't right.

He hated the tests, hated the trials his father was forcing him to go through. He understood their meaning, of course. That's why he went through with it. Day after day, week after week.

But the more he did them, the more his father's voice echoed on the intercom "Did you feel that?", the more he said "Not at all." the more he realized it wasn't just physical.

He didn't feel the bullets, or the shocks, or the hit as things fell on him. He also didn't feel the emotion that should go with that. Anger, fear, trepidation, anticipation. At most he felt a mild annoyance.

Otherwise, complete apathy. 

And he could feel them - all those emotions he _should_ have. Bubbling in his gut, just out of reach for his soul to use. He knows what he _should_ be feeling, but since his resurrection, it seems his body didn't know _how_ to.

He didn't want to outright tell Bruce. That would mean more tests, more worry that he couldn't _feel_ , but his father _could_. And Damian didn't want to do that, not to him. Not after everything else.

That's why. On the boat. "Your theory would be good enough for me."

_Tell me what you think, Father. Tell me I'm not a freak, I'm not a monster. Tell me we can fix this. Tell me this is normal, even._

And that night, with those men in the tank. He could see it in Batman's posture. That concern, that worry. That's why he said it.

"I told you, don't worry about me-"

_Please, Father, I don't want you to._

"-I can't feel _anything_."

And with Bruce's blank stare, Damian pretended that he could feel triumph. No more worry on that face. He'd convinced him. He succeeded. Bruce believed him.

~~

Bruce didn't.

He watched in muted horror as Damian clutched the steel tank, smashed his head into it. Gritted his teeth in what he probably believed looked like effort. But Bruce knew it was in frustration.

Damian wanted to prove a point. And he did. Just not the one he was intending to.

It was an unconscious reaction, as Damian flexed his muscles, tightened his fist around the crumbling tank. If Bruce didn't stop him, he could see Damian repeating the motion. Slamming his head into it repeatedly. It wouldn't hurt him, he wouldn't feel it, but that wasn't the point. 

Just the thought was already breaking Bruce's heart.

So he reached out. Yanked Damian away from his demonstration. Clung to his shoulder as he crouched in front of him. Looked up into his son's lensed eyes - and they were so _blank_ , looked just the tiniest bit _lost_ \- and gently said:

"And I don't believe that's a good thing."

He felt the minute drop of Damian's shoulder. Relief? Defeat?

"We need to figure out how best to-"

_To help you. To make sure you're okay. To make sure you're safe. To make sure you're well._

All the things Bruce wanted to say. To comfort his son. Let Damian know that he was _listening_ , that he could _hear_ him.

But then his communicator beeped. The Justice League.

Already, he felt Damian's body tense back up. Steel himself, lock himself back away in his mind. There was no problem. Now Damian would claim there never was one.

The moment was gone.

Bruce sighed and answered the call.


End file.
